Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Seahawks Post Mortem

Any questions?

Don't blame this loss on Matt.  When one of only two guys that can catch a perfectly thrown ball gets injured on the second series, you are not going to have a good afternoon.  The Seahawk receivers must have mistaken axle grease for Lester Hayes' bootleg bottle of Stickum.

The other problem is that Cutler had way too much time in the backfield to complete passes to people that actually can catch a ball.  US Postal regulations state that anyone who spends that much time in any one place must fill out a change of address card so the mail can still find its way.  Seriously, where was the pass rush?  Freelance photographers would have had an easier time getting in the bridal party at Brad and Jennifer's wedding than the Seahack defensive line had getting in Cutler's face.

If..if...if...It's what every Seahawk fan says this time of year (actually, about two weeks earlier, but I digress...)  If only Carlson didn't get injured, Hasselbeck would have had twice the amount of people to throw to, should he want to complete a pass.  My guess is that the 3-and-outs would have gone way down and the halftime score would have been 14-10 "ish."  Since the Hacks outscored the Bears (who were clearly starting to hibernate late in the 3rd Quarter) 24-14 in the second half, we could be talking smack about going 6-0 in the postseason at Qwest Field and looking forward to getting revenge on the Steelers and their staff referees.

Thus concludes the shortest career in sports writing history.  Tune in next time where we discuss deflation, while poking fun at Ivy League educated idiots trying to spend what is left of our wealth to convince us that we don't need to produce anything to live happily ever after.


whatsmyname said...

c'mon dude, it's March. don't quit now. tell us what the economy will do this year.

Anonymous said...

Is the crow getting stale? If so, how about putting retrenching and providing us your thoughts on the economy?


I remember talking to some guys about the chicago bears playing the seahawks. They were the worst team in football but they beat the bears twice which were a much better team.